Dealing with the Main Sources of People Problems
People problems are inevitable. Various people
problems arise from the differences in
emotions, or unclear
communication. The greatest
communication problem is that the message sent is not the message received.
Often, the problem or the conflict lies not in objective reality, but in
To prevent or solve people problems, base your
relationships on accurate perceptions, friendly and clear communication,
listening, appropriate emotions, and forward-looking positive outlook.
Put yourself in their shoes to understand their perceptions and the way
of their thinking. If you wish to achieve their psychological commitment to
a mutually satisfactory outcome, involve them in the problem solving process
and reaching that outcome.
Forget About Your Own Problems
Don’t forget that you must deal with not only
other people’s problems, but also with your own. Your emotions may also be
destructive, your perceptions are likely to be one-sided, and you may not be
listening well enough. Provide the
other person with your undivided attention. Be empathetic and non-judgmental
– empathetic listening can help you manage
and avoid disruptive and assaultive behaviors. Assure your understanding.
Ask clarifying questions and restate what you perceive the speaker to be
Dealing with People Problem in Negotiations
The human aspect in
negotiations can be disastrous, so can be failing to deal with others
sensitively as human beings. People are emotional beings who frequently
confuse their perceptions with reality.
“One way to deal with different perceptions is
to make them explicit and discuss them with the other side. As long as you
do this in a frank, honest manner without either side blaming the other for
the problem as each sees it, such a discussion may provide the understanding
they need to take what you say seriously, and vice versa,” advise the
authors of Getting To Yes1.“If you want to
influence them, you also need to
understand empathetically the power of their point of view and to feel the
emotional force with which they believe in it.” To accomplish this task
withhold your judgment for a while and ‘try on’ their views. Understanding
their point of view “allows you to reduce the area of conflict, and it also
helps you advance your newly enlightened self-interest.”...