Humor   Humorous Communication Quotes   Quotes /td> A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill If you are arguing with an idiot, he is most likely doing the same. Mikhail Zhvanetsky Don't tell me what to do and I won't tell you where you should go. Mikhail Zhvanetsky A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation. Mark Twain Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain   "A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen." ~ Ambrose Bierce   Yin and Yang of Communication     "A bore is a man who spends so much time talking about himself that you cannot talk about yourself." ~ Melville Landon "If you can't say anything nice about a man, let's hear it." ~ Unknown "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." ~ Jimmy Durante   A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. Oscar Wilde Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. Oscar Wilde I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde   "Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him." ~ Samuel Butler   How To Reduce Lying in this World     "Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day." ~ Kin Hubbard   Negotiation Skills: Getting to "No"     "Say what you want and be who you are because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss "The covers of this book are too far apart." ~ Ambrose Bierce "I like to talk with people who express my thoughts clearly." ~ Unknown     "Every man has a right to utter what he thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him down for it." ~ Samuel Johnson   Perceptions: we see things as we are, not as they are     "No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who is giving it." ~ Arthur Robinson   Humorous Business Plan: Communication   Many meetings are life-threatening because they are deadly boring. VadiK Inventor Author Founder If you want to improve your memory, lie to everyone differently so that you have to remember who you said what to. Kotfucius I’m watching this movie for the fourth time and have to tell you that today the actors play as good as never before. Faina Ranevskaya "Fat man" sounds offensive. We should say “horizontally oriented”. Mikhail Zadornov   "Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give, but dreadfully uneasy to take." ~ Josh Billings   Feedback: Good vs. Bad     "I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true." ~ Dorothy Parker "Some read to think, these are rare; some to write, these are common; and some read to talk, and these form the great majority." ~ Charles Caleb Colton   Never let vanity cacophony mute your life symphony How To Write Stories Use Right Words     "If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names." ~ Elbert Hubbard   Win-Win Approach to Conflict Resolution     "Never call a man fool; borrow from him." ~ Addison Mizner   Turn Problems to Opportunities