Jokes about Problem Solving

Jokes about Problem Solving

Many problems, if ignored, become offended and go away.

Financial Benefits of Thinking Outside the Box

A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

Thinking Outside the Box

"What God Looks Like"

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Russian children write to God

Jesus on The Kingdom of God

Leo Tolstoy: The Kingdom of God is within you

Bhagavad Gita

Quotes about God

"Blue Suit"

A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.

He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"

But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one.

When she comes back for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.

He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her. So... I switched the heads."

Problem Solving

4 Levels of Problem Solving

Creative Problem Solving (CPS)

Thinking Outside the Box

Waltz Up with Challenges

Turn Problems to Opportunities

Turn Failures to Opportunities

Questions for Creative Business Problem Solving

Inventive Thinking

BLISSful Inventor

Inventive Questions

"Prostitute Parrots"

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

"The Owl and the Field Mouse Story"

A little field-mouse was lost in a dense wood, unable to find his way out. He came upon a wise old owl sitting in a tree. "Please help me, wise old owl, how can I get out of this wood?" said the field-mouse.

"Easy," said the owl, "Grow wings and fly out, as I do."

"But how can I grow wings?" asked the mouse.

The owl looked at him haughtily, sniffed disdainfully, and said, "Don't bother me with the details, I only advise on strategy."

Strategic Achievement

Strategic Problem Solving

"Knowing Where To Kick"

A car mechanic is called in after every other mechanic failed. He listens to the engine for a few minutes, then hauls off and gives it a big swift kick in a certain strategic spot. Lo and behold, the engine starts humming like a kitten. The mechanic turns around, gives the car owner his bill for $400. The owner is flabbergasted and demands an itemized breakdown AND EXPLANATION.

The bill says... '$1 for my time, and $399 for knowing where to kick.'

"One Thing at a Time"

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Winning ▪ Creative Problem Solving ▪ De-positioning

Wise vs. Fast

A farmer buys a new rooster to replace his old one, and puts him in the chicken coop...

The new rooster walks up arrogantly to the old rooster and says "out of the way old man! These are my hens now. Your time is done." The old rooster rolls his eyes.

"Alright, fine, I get it. I'm old. But I still have some living left to do, and won't give up my hens so easily. There is only room in this coop for one of us. Let's settle it this way: we race around the coop. The winner stays, and the other goes." The young rooster agrees to the challenge.

The old rooster says "but listen, I'm not the young cock I once was. You have to give me a 5 second head start to make it fair." The young rooster agrees to these terms.

When race time comes, the young rooster counts down to start it. "3... 2...1... go!" The old rooster takes off running, giving it his all. After 5 seconds, the new rooster takes off after him. As they round the first turn of the race, the new rooster is already about to catch up to the old one, right on his heels.

Then the farmer's wife shouted to her husband: "Who did you bring? He's chasing our old rooster!"

The farmer grabs his shotgun, and shoots the young rooster, leaving only some blood and feathers. He exclaims angrily, "Damn it! That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month!"

4 Types of Problems ▪ Work Back ▪ 5-Why Process

The Root Problem Discovered

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home ... and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! The end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation ............. She never got your email!

Laughter is a master key to success. It helps spread joy, connect with others, remove tensions, learn joyfully, heal diseases, and conquer adversaries.