People Skills

Guard Your Happiness

The Four Types of Opinions that Matter, Others Don't


Vadim Kotelnikov personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration and Innovation unlimited!


The address of your happiness is www.your.mind


Sometimes you can hear apparently negative remarks about you or what you are doing.

Don't let bad wishers harm your happiness, confidence and self-esteem. Their opinions don't actually matter.

There are four types of opinions that matter.

These opinions come from people who:

  1. care about you and wish you well;

  2. are great experts and are getting the results you want to achieve;

  3. are your teammates whom you are working toward a common goal with;

  4. are your target beneficiaries whom you are striving to create a greater value for.

Though their opinions may sometimes seem negative, they are actually always positive. It is a positive feedback. As Ken Blanchard puts it, "feedback is the breakfast of champions." So treat these opinions as learning opportunities and lessons that help you improve what you are doing and achieve much more.

As to other opinions, they come from people who neither care about you, nor share your aspirations, are neither experts in your field, nor your target beneficiaries. So why should you feel harmed? Let them keep their negative opinions, and you keep your happiness.

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." ~ Wayne Dyer


"A well guarded mind brings happiness." ~ Buddha


"What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you." ~ Seneca


"Be independent of the good opinion of others."

~ Abraham Maslow


"Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death." ~ Rumi


"Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion."  ~ Charles Kuralt


"Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom."  ~ Sam Walton


"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them." ~ Henry David Thoreau


"I have observed that society in general always seems to honor its living conformists and its dead troublemakers."
~ Wayne W. Dyer


"Happiness is attained through fidelity to a worthy purpose."
~ Helen Keller