Guidelines for the Six Steps of the No-Lose Method

1. Identifying and Defining the Problem

• your statement of the → problem should be expressed in a way that does not communicate blame or judgment  >>>

• ask the other to state his or her position and to get his or her feelings out, else he or she wont be ready for the remaining steps; use active listening if the other initially gets angry or defensive

• try to understand each other's feelings  >>>

• define the problem in terms of conflicting needs, not conflicting solutions  >>>

• be sure both of you accept the definition of the problem

2. Generating Alternative Solutions

• → be creative in generating → possible solutions   >>>

• discourage evaluation until a number of possible solutions is proposed

• if things bog down, state the problem again

3. → Evaluating the Alternative Solutions

• take special care that both you and other are honest

• use active → listening

• test solutions carefully, or you increase the chance of ending up with a poor solution

→ 4 NLP Perceptual Positions

4. Decision-Making

• don't make the mistake of trying to persuade or push a solution on the other – mutual commitment to the solution is essential for its implementation

• when you are close to a decision, state the solution to make certain you both understand what you are about to decide

→ Same Reality, Different Perceptions

5. Implementing the Solution

• immediately after a solution has been agreed upon, talk about its implementation: who, what, when, how

• show complete trust that the other will faithfully carry out the decision; don't talk about penalties for failure to implement a solution at this time

• don't delay too long before confronting the other in case he or she fails to carry out tasks

6. Follow-up Evaluation of the Solution

• after a while, ask how the other feels now about the solution

• have an understanding that decisions are always open for revision, but neither of you can unilaterally modify a decision

→ Learning SWOT Questions