EFFECTIVE SPEAKING: How to Communicate Effectively Your Ideas to Others (Your first-ever Business e-Coach)

"If all my possessions were taken from me with one exception, I would chose to keep
the power for speech, for by it I would soon regain all the rest." ~ Daniel Webster

Communication is a Two-Way Traffic

"The meaning of the communication is the response you get." ~ NLP presupposition

We often deal with new ideas, with changing how things are done, with trying to persuade others about your point of view. There are many built-in obstacles to people automatically accepting and absorbing information, however.

Perhaps the greatest single stumbling block to real communication is the one-sided nature of speaking. Most of us think of "communicating" as a one-way process. We concentrate on what to say, how to say, and how to communicate it better. But, in our zeal to achieve our goal and get our message across to others, we forget that at the other end of our message is an 'other' – someone with his own zeal, his own goal, and his own concerns. These often do not coincide with ours, especially at the moment when we are about to start communicating our new ideas.

Never forget, that the true meaning of communication is not the message you send, but the response you get.

The Elevator Speech

In communication circles, there's the Elevator Speech. You've got to be able to get your key point across in a matter of seconds, in the time you'd spend taking a short elevator ride.

Focus is everything. Don't dilute your message. Don't cloud the main issue by insignificant information.

Engaging in a Dialogue

"Two monologues do not make a dialogue."

Exchange between you and your targeted prospect is the key to effective communication. So, listening is an active pursuit for selling your ideas. "Selling isn't happening when you are talking. Selling happens when your prospect is talking," stresses Terry Collison from Blue Rock Capital. Unless you can get the both sides equally involved in the exchange you may as well deliver your idea or request to the mirror.

Making the listener want to hear you is primary. Why would someone else spontaneously get interested in your vested stuff? You'd need a propellant - something that could make a difference and actively turn your audience towards your pursuit and away from theirs.

→ Communication: Yin-Yang Balance

→ Influencing People: Yin-Yang Strategies

What Makes People Listen?

What makes people listen? The three basic factors are:

1. Self-interest;

2. Who's speaking; and

3. How they say it.

Understanding the basic principles of how we communicate and why we listen – what works, what doesn't, and why – starts you on the road to a realistic appraisal of what you want to say and how you plan to say it.

The best way to generate the receiver's self-interest and to get people to listen is to discover and show them what's in it for them. It's to let them know that you understand their self-interest by focusing on their point of view at the start, before you tell them about yours. That will motivate them to turn in.

The next factor that determines whether people listen is who's speaking, their perception of the speaker. If you are successful, this will cause your audience to consciously think about what you are saying. But you must first interrupt the thinking patterns they have developed. You must force or compel your target market to dispense of the mental inertia that has mesmerized them in to behavior patterns and belief systems they have established which creates a “guardian of the mind” phenomenon.⁵

Certain basic personal qualities immediately capture people and make them want to listen to your message. >>>

The third reason people listen is technique, or how you say it. Style and technique have become the principal determinants of whether or now we sell or tell successfully today. Words and people are no longer the primary message givers. Now pictures tell. The listener expects a visual proof, not to take anyone's word for it.

Further, it is always important to remember how people feel about learning. Knowing how people react to learning is vital to planning your communication strategy.

New information or information that challenges existing beliefs or systems presents problem to any communicator or negotiator.

Benjamin Franklin advised: "Don't expect to win the first time. Your first job is just to start the other person thinking."

Only few people are explorers. The rest are grounded in the familiar and what is proven to work. Therefore, the first reaction to learning is often resistance, as most people feel (a) threatened, (b) intimidated, (c) competitive; and (d) to be on an unfamiliar ground. The safest way to overcome these obstacles is to discuss the new information by beginning with what is known. To start with the familiar and then to add the new and variations or take-offs from the old to what it could be. Use also magical phrases to get people listening.

Arrange the parts of speech with such art as to produce effects of light and shade.

Mozart

Speak briefly, ask little, leave quickly.

Peter the Great

References:

How To Talk So People Listen, Sonya Hamlin
Simplicity – The New Competitive Advantage in a World of More, Better, Faster, Bill Jensen
"Secrets of Power Persuasion for Salespeople", Roger Dawson
How To Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less, Nicholas Boothman
"Unleash Your Greatness," Mike Litman

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