Guidelines for the Six Steps of the No-Lose Method

1. Identifying and Defining the Problem

  • your statement of the problem should be expressed in a way that does not communicate blame or judgment  >>>

  • ask the other to state his or her position and to get his or her feelings out, else he or she wont be ready for the remaining steps; use active listening if the other initially gets angry or defensive

  • try to understand each other's feelings  >>>

  • define the problem in terms of conflicting needs, not conflicting solutions  >>>

  • be sure both of you accept the definition of the problem

2. Generating Alternative Solutions

3. Evaluating the Alternative Solutions

  • take special care that both you and other are honest

  • use active listening

  • test solutions carefully, or you increase the chance of ending up with a poor solution

4 NLP Perceptual Positions

4. Decision-Making

  • don't make the mistake of trying to persuade or push a solution on the other mutual commitment to the solution is essential for its implementation

  • when you are close to a decision, state the solution to make certain you both understand what you are about to decide

Same Reality, Different Perceptions

5. Implementing the Solution

  • immediately after a solution has been agreed upon, talk about its implementation: who, what, when, how

  • show complete trust that the other will faithfully carry out the decision; don't talk about penalties for failure to implement a solution at this time

  • don't delay too long before confronting the other in case he or she fails to carry out tasks

6. Follow-up Evaluation of the Solution

  • after a while, ask how the other feels now about the solution

  • have an understanding that decisions are always open for revision, but neither of you can unilaterally modify a decision

Learning SWOT Questions


The No-lose Method produces a solution that brings mutual need satisfaction. It is acceptable to everyone, so nobody feels a loser.  >>>

Cultural Differences  Download PowerPoint presentation, pdf e-book

It is not easy to acquire competence in applying this method. Searching for a solution requires creative thinking: "we've got a problem to solve, so let's get creative". It is important that you not start the process with one fixed, preconceived solution or a number of  alternative solutions Download PowerPoint presentation, pdf e-book. The important thing that you remain open to other solutions.

  Brainstorming: 10 Rules



The No-lose Method brings many benefits:

  • increased commitment to carry out the decision

  • higher-quality decisions

  • warmer relationships

  • quicker decisions

  • no "selling" is required

The No-lose Method for resolving conflicts between people is just a special application of problem solving, involving six separate steps: identifying and defining the problem; generating alternative solutions; evaluating the alternative solutions; decision making; implementing the decision; and following up to evaluate the solution.



Only those people directly involved in the conflict should be included in the problem-solving.  >>>

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