Influencing People:

Knowing People

Taking Different Perceptual Positions

Gaining New Understanding Through Seeing Things from Different Perspectives

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"He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that."  

~ John Stuart Mill

"The bird thinks it is an act of kindness to give the fish a lift in the air."

~ Rabindranath Tagore



Main Four Perceptual Positions

  1. Self: you are in your own body, looking out through your own eyes, seeing things from your point of view

  2. Other: step into your prospect's shoes, imagine what it's like to be him or her, look at the world through his or her eyes

  3. Observer: take a concerned observer's view of events in which you are involved, access the view or comments of your 'wiser self'

  4. We: the viewpoint from the perspective of the system as a whole... More

Different Perceptual Positions Can Help You:

  • improve rapport

  • check out the possible results of choices and actions before acting on them

  • understand where others are coming from in negotiations, conflicts, or disagreements

Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts

  • reconnect with your own feelings and needs

10 Essentials of Effective Communication

  • Put yourself in your audience's shoes, try to understand your listener's level of understanding... More


The Tao of Entrepreneurial Creativity

  • Changing the name of the game and the rules; changing hats... More



Elephant and Six Blind Men   Selective Perceptions

Disney Creativity Strategy

Knowing People

Mental Maps

Cultural Differences

Life Philosophies: East vs. West

Cross--cultural Communication

Marketing and Selling

The Law of Perception

Differentiating with Different Types of People


Perceptual Positions Defined

Your perception of any experience depends on the position from where you perceive it.

Same Reality, Different Perceptions

Key Benefits

There is never just one way to look at something there are always different perspectives, meanings, and perceptions, depending on who, why and how is looking.

Taking different perceptual positions enables you to step out of what you are currently experiencing and gather new information by seeing things from a different perspective. You can also check out how your own words and behavior may be impacting on other people, and how they may be feeling about you and your actions. This new knowledge will help you make the necessary changes in your behavior and thus achieve desired outcomes.

Establishing Rapport and Building Trust

We all have different maps of reality ways in which we perceive the world and "we can only really trust people who look at the world the way we do. If we feel understood, we give people our trust and open up to them more easily."2 Taking the other person's perceptual position will help you achieve rapport and be on the same wavelength with him or her.

 Tool in Point  Six Thinking Hats

The Six Thinking Hats proposal analysis tool invented by Edward de Bono5 is particularly useful for evaluating innovative and provocative ideas. While most of our thinking is adversarial, the six thinking hats technique overcomes these difficulties by forcing everyone to think in parallel. As participants wear each hat white, red, yellow, black, green, or blue they all must think a certain way at the same time... More

 Case in Point  Charles Schwab

Charles Schwab, the founder of the US leading discounted stock brokerage company, has talked about his effort to assume the perspective of his customer. "I am like a chief. I like to taste the food. If it tastes bad, I don't serve it. I'm constantly monitoring what we do, and I'm always looking for better ways we can provide financial services, ways that would make me happy if I were a client."... More

 Case in Point  Disney Creativity Strategy

Walt Disney was true genius at turning fantasies into reality.

According to Robert Dilts, an NLP pioneer who developed the technique called Disney Creativity Strategy, this process involves three distinct perceptual positions working in coordination with one another: (1) Visual imagery, (2) Kinesthetic feelings, and (3) Re-viewing the story in memory... More

Entrepreneurial Creativity: 4 Keys

Legend in Point:  The Blind Men and the Elephant

There are various versions of the story of the blind men and the elephant. The blind men and the elephant is a legend that appears in different cultures different cultures ‒ notably China, Africa and India ‒ and the tale dates back thousands of years. Some versions of the story feature three blind men, others five or six, but the message is always the same.

Here's a story of the six blind men and the elephant.  >>>




Explore Your Relationships

Explore the relationship from the other person's point of view. Imagine how they experience your behavior. What sort of label would they put on it? How do they feel? Shake off that emotional state before continuing... More





  1. The NLP Coach, Ian McDermott and Wendy Jago

  2. Selling With NLP, Kerry L. Johnson

  3. Seven Masters, One Path, John Selby

  4. Stories and Analogies,

  5. Six Thinking Hats, Edward de Bono

  6. NLP Solutions, Sue Knight

  7. Ways of NLP, Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermott

  8. NLP - the New Technology of Achievement, Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner

  9. NLP and the New Manager, Ian McDermott and Ian Shircore

  10. Neuro-Linguistic Programming In A Week, Mo Shapiro

  11. Handbook of NLP: A Manual for Professional Communicators, Harry Adler

  12. Mental Maps

  13. Benefits of NLP

  14. Applications of NLP To Business