People Skills:


Negotiation Tips

Winning in the Game of Life and Business


Vadim Kotelnikov personal logo Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 Business e-Coach Inspiration, Achievement, Innovation and Happiness unlimited!!



"Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you when things go wrong."

~ Bralek's Rule for Success


Negotiating the Game of Life and Business

Negotiation is the  game of life and business, the lifeblood of relationships, and a positive way of structuring the communication process.  Whenever you attempt to reconcile differences, resolve disputes, manage conflict, influence others, establish or improve relationships you are negotiating.



Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

from Getting to Yes, by Fisher, R, and Urey. W., the Harvard Negotiation Project



Negotiation DOs and DON'Ts

Principled Negotiation

Conduct During Negotiations

Effective Communication

Business Communication

Face-To-Face Communication

Cross-cultural Communication

1.    Separate the Relationship with the People from the Substance of the Deal

Be hard on the deal, soft on the people

See the deal from inside their shoes

Make your proposal consistent with their value

2.    Focus on Shared Values and Interests, but not on the Positions Each Side Takes

Values define the deal

Each side has multiple interests be clear on yours, discover theirs

3.    In Stuck, Brainstorm Options for Mutual Benefit

Be creative, think outside the box

Identify shared interest

4.    Use Objective Criteria for Decision-Making

Strike a deal based on principle, not pressure

Agree on fair standards and procedures

Frame issues as a collaborative quest




Negotiating Principles

from Getting to Yes, by Fisher, R, and Urey. W., the Harvard Negotiation Project

  1. Set the tone early, offset any bad rumors, be candid.

  2. Utilize "human factors" and be open about feelings and motives: this will enhance trust.

  3. Avoid presenting too many issues, highlight the strongest ones.

  4. Avoid deadlines, lessening the chance for needless concessions.

  5. Summarize frequently: this enhances understanding.

  6. Present arguments calmly, without personalization, and make sure they are logically supported.

  7. Avoid use of personal opinions in arguments.

  8. Avoid ultimatums and other forms of non-negotiable demands.

  9. Admit, when appropriate, the validity of the other party's arguments.


Benjamin Franklin's Five Bargaining Tips

  1. Be clear, in your own mind, about exactly what you're after.

  2. .. More

12 Tips for Global Business Travelers

  1. Expect your meetings and negotiations to be longer than anticipated. Build more time into schedules... More

Be the Best Possible

10 Tips by Ten3 NZ Ltd.

  • Be a team player.  The most valuable single factor that contributes towards high levels of excellence and quality in a team, stem from an individual team member's ability to work with others, i.e. his or her levels of cooperation and communication.  These "social intelligence" skills include the ability to persuade, negotiate, compromise and make others feel important... More

Pretending Ignorance: Smart Is Dumb

Socrates used this technique more than 2300 years ago. He pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully.

Today, many world's smartest and fastest businesspeople have perfected this art consciously or unconsciously of paying dumb. "People who try to impress by pretending to be smart generally aren't. Truly smart people know that by playing dumb and asking the other party to repeat or explain things several times, asking lots of questions, they'll be better prepared to respond and then make a fast decision."3

Apply 80/20 Principle

According to 80/20 Principle, 20% or fewer of the points at issue will comprise over 80% of the value of the disputed territory; 80% of the concessions will occur in the last 20% of time available.

Bonus Negotiating Tips from the Murphy's Law Complete

Eddie's First Law of Business:

Never conduct negotiations before 10 a.m. or after 4 p.m. Before 10 you appear too anxious, and after 4 they think you're desperate.

Truman's Law:

If you cannot convince them, confuse them

Helga's Rule:

Say no, then negotiate.






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Great Negotiator